Friday, June 29, 2012

"Wrappers" and "Rappers"

   The first time I saw a wrapper (a real wrapper) was in a department store in Salt Lake City, Utah. It was during the Christmas Season and a nice lady was wrapping gifts purchased at the store for 10 cents apiece. I must have been around six years old.

   Even then, it seemed like a great idea. For a mere 10 cents it saved the buyer from having to lug the gift home and spend all that time wrapping and tying a bow. Wrapping was much less complicated back in the 50s.

   When I was a kid in elementary school, maybe in the 3rd or 4th grade, I had a teacher who would remind us as we were leaving for the day, "Don't forget your wraps". When I realized that she was reminding us to take our coats and jackets, it made sense. Kind of a classy way to say, "Stay warm".

   Fast forward to the late 90s...

   Now we have "Rappers".

   It took me a while to 'wrap' my head around just what a Rapper was. As I understand it, Rappers are inner-city kids of various ages without any real talent, who try to talk in time with the music. In so doing, they occasionally rhyme a word or two. When I say "music" I am using the term in it's loosest possible context.

   For some reason, Rapping has grown enormously popular with these same inner-city kids. The ethnic heritage of these kids are predominately African-American but there are some participants who are of other ethnicities as well.

   An entire sub-culture has grown around Rapping. These are identified as "East Coast" and West Coast" camps. They do not get along. There have been shootings and killings between the two groups. Notably Tupak Shakur and Big-E-Small. Apparently one group thinks the other can't talk and rhyme in time to the "music" as well as they do. For some reason this makes them angry and they take it out on each other. This is more for "Street Cred" and impressing their "Big Assed Ho's" than anything else. (Here, and I thought a hoe was a garden implement!)

   The inner-city types have settled on Rapping since they really have no inherent talent to speak of. If I wanted to, I could become a Rapper. All I would need do is scribble out a few verses of very bad poetry and shout it out loud and fast in time to some gawd-awful music while I make spastic hand gestures to an audience. I would intersperse this with words such as "Yo" and "Word" and even an occasional "Wassuuupp?"

   I'm thinking that anyone could do this in a few minutes if they put their mind to it - and didn't mind looking and sounding like a retard being electrocuted.

   Inner-city kids of all ages need Rapping to make them feel better about themselves and their environment, especially given what little in the way of natural talent and resources they have to work with. This is the same theory that the California Education System used when they started issuing their students the "Feel Good" grades back in the late 70s. It's similar to patting a retarded person (or Developmentally Challenged - if it makes you feel better) on the head and saying, "Oh, well Bless Your Heart!".

   In my opinion, the terms "Rap Artist" and "Rap Music" are oxymoronic (for you Rappers: an oxymoron are two or more words in a phrase which are fundamentally in opposition to one another as in... well, Rap Music).

   As The GEEZER I find that Rapping is, at best, highly irritating (could you tell?).
   I was watching "America's Got Talent" the other night. There were several Rappers auditioning (there goes the 'Talent' part). One of the Rappers was a 70 year old grandmother (who did a pretty fair job). Another Rapper was backstage complaining to his friend, "She be dissin' (disrespecting) my art! I've given my life to Rap!". Really? OMG! Your LIFE? well, Bless Your Heart!

Note: I sincerely hope that if you are a Rapper you won't be offended by my opinions stated herein.

(I really hope I don't get a cap busted in my ass!)




  1. OMG! OMG! LMAO!

    Geeze! Man you're killing me here! I couldn't have said it better my own self! He he he he!

  2. Geezer

    Every time I read your blog it seems that you post something that connects with what I had been thinking.

    I saw that America's Got Talent episode that you mentioned and remember the comment. I also thought that it was a funny remark that the guy made. Personally I thought the old lady was better than the black kid. At least you could understand what she was saying! He needs to get a job or another outlet for his "talent'.

  3. Replies
    1. Thank you for recognizing! Yo!

      (Insert hand signs and swagger here)


I'd be interested to hear your comments. Thanks for reading The Geezer Guide!