Saturday, May 25, 2013

Selected Excerpts From the Presidential Diary

Direct from the White House, through a series of dead drops and hand-offs. At great risk to those involved, I bring you selected excerpts from the diary of Fearless Leader.  (Please understand that these are in no particular order except as noted).

Nov. 2008 - Dear Diary - Today was totally awesome! Found out that I had really been elected Pres. Mich. said I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of ever doing it but, well, here it is. George Soros paid a lot of money to seal my school records that show I was scamming the affirmative action laws to get in college as an exchange student. That and coming up with that Hawaiian Birth Certificate instead of my old one from Kenya - like they even keep records; that one was easy!

Oh crap. I have to write a speech. I'll get someone else to do
it. After all, I'm the boss now!  Going to the basement and get high. More later!

Jan. 2009. Dear diary - took "The Oath" today.. (oath... what's that mean?). Stressed out to the max. What if they find out that I don't know jack about this job? Will they fire me? Maybe there's a video I can watch or something... Gotta set up a round or two of golf now that I don't have to pay for it outta my own pocket!

Mich. picked out a dress for the balls tonight! (I said 'Balls' hee hee hee!) Honestly, she looks like a trashy Chi-Town 'ho. Gotta talk to her about getting a new designer other than J.C.P.! The girls are excited too. My little princesses!

Dear diary - Been in the WH for a few months now. Called the networks a month or so ago and told 'em the new rules. They report what I say or they get the shaft. So far they're doing a great job. No flack from any of them. Limbaugh and Beck still chap my ass though and FOX is slow coming around, but nobody watches them anyway.

Been sending money to all my supporters. All I have to do is call the treasury and tell them to cut a check. This is going to be fun. I don't even have to balance a checkbook anymore. Not that I  even know how!

Dear diary - The economy is starting to crash so I told treasury to send everyone some cash with their tax refunds to 'stimulate' the economy. If I make it sound 'Presidential' I can get away with anything. Hope I'm doing this right!

Biden is getting to be a pain. He thinks that he should have been Pres. but he just don't know what a fool he is. I'l keep him around as my 'token' VP.

Dear diary - Holden told me about Executive Orders! This is SWEET! I don't have to go through congress or nuthin'. Just write it all out, Presidential-like and it's a LAW! Man, I'm the KING! (Holder told me not to let anyone hear me say the 'K' word - so it's just between us, dear diary!) 

I wonder if I can do an exec. order to keep Wookie (that's my pet name for Mich. - she's a big Star Wars fan - in case anyone asks!)from snoring so much. Wook! Wook!

Dear diary - S&P just called and said they were down grading the country's credit rating. That used to bother me before I became King of...(oops!) President. Now, I'll just let treasury worry about it. Bernanke can fix this! For a white guy, he's pretty smart.

Unemployment is way up, but hey! I gotta job... not to worry. I'll send all the poor people who voted for me a cell phone. They'll be happy!

Note to self: send the Chicago Black Panthers a big-ass check for stuffin' the ballot boxes. Good job, guys!

Dear diary - Got back from the middle east last month. Had to do a lot of ass-kissing with the Saudi's. The King made me give him a 'handie' under the table during dinner. 

Made a stop in Israel. Those whiny folks are sooo needy. Everyone says that they're our biggest allies but I have my doubts. Sink or swim on your own. That's the Chicago way!

Gotta say that Air Force-1 is the coolest. Gonna fly on that baby every chance I get! I told the pilot that I wanted to fly it but he just stared at me like I was stoned. Well, maybe a little bit - hee hee hee! I'll have to see about getting him replaced. These military guys are all so 'in your face'. Don't they know that it's a different world? I'll have to sequester them.... Hmmm, sequester? I'll give this some thought...

Dear diary - Big shooting someplace in Colorado. Didn't pay much attention. Really ruined a Batman movie for some folks, I hear. Maybe I can turn this against the Republicans somehow... I'm sure I'll have to make another speech. Put it on the TelePromTer guys! Don't know what I'd do without it! I'm visitin' the boys in the kitchen tonight for sure!

This President thing is pretty cool as long as I don't actually have to DO anything (never did find that training video - "Being President for Dummies"). I really DON'T know how to DO anything. Hope nobody catches on! Need to play some golf. More golf.

Dear diary - It's getting time for another vacation. Maybe go down to Martha's Vineyard (Wookie calls it 'My Vinyard' even tho her name ain't Martha - I don't get it.)on the taxpayer's dime. This job is so stressful. Not as stressful as watching Mich come to bed with her 'do-rag wrapped around her head smelling like Jerri-Curl. Da' Wookie is bringing me down! Where's the 'Presidential Stash'? I hear the kitchen calling...

CIA told me that they have a tip on O-Sama-Bin-Ladel or something like that. They want to go get him, but I don't know. Just live and let live, I say. I'll have to look him up. Maybe do some research on the web and find out who this dude really is. If he's a brother Muslim, I'll tell them to back off...

Dear diary - the CIA kept on about this Bin-Laden (did I spell that right?) guy. They've been pestering me for the last six months to let them go get him. I finally agreed (Allah forgive me!). They went in and did him. Watched the whole thing on TV in the Sit Room. I was so scared I think I peed a little in my tightie-whities!

Afterward I told the country that I killed this dude, all macho-like (I felt like a Black John Wayne! Just call me Duke!). (I still don't know who he is, but everyone is happy he's gone) This ought to buy me a few votes in the upcoming elections!

They want me to go and thank the SEALS. Seals? Where are they, in the zoo? Silly name.

Dear diary - Stevens and his guys got all shot to hell over in Benghazi. I told them to keep a low profile while shipping those guns out to Turkey! Getting shot and killed is a "Low Profile"? I'll fire them all!

Told Panetta and Hillary to take care of it. Going down to the kitchen for a 'smoke'. Don't bother me - I don't want to know. If I don't do ANYTHING, I cant do anything wrong, now can I?

Dear diary - Got Re-Elected. Man, I thought I was a goner. Had my bags packed and everything. Scoped out a place in Hawaii that wasn't too bad. Then they told me that I was still the Boss. Have to un-pack now. Maybe I'll go to the kitchen after dark and get high with the bus boys again.

It was a close thing, this election. Romney kept bringing up FACTS, as if anyone cares about that stuff. I'm thinking the O-Phones is what really brought out my votes - that and all the lies I told.  Hee hee hee!

Dear diary - Another shooting in Connecticut. Poor little kiddies. Crazy kid shot 'em all. It's time to take away all the guns so that this crap never happens again! It's those Republicans and the NRA! Never let a good tragedy go to waste. I'll call Feinstein. She's always good for something like this!

Did the State of the Union speech (thank Allah for the TelePrompTer). I was so good I even got a tear in my own eye! Too bad there wasn't a speck of truth in it!

Dear diary - The Senate and House failed to pass ANY of my gun control legislation! Those idiots!

Speaking of idiots - Joe 'Two Blast' Biden is really giving me an aneurysm with his idiotic sound bites! When I run for my third term, I'm replacing him. Maybe Richard Simmons!

Dear diary - Justice told me that we've been putting the pressure on the Tea Party and them conservative groups through the IRS. It serves them right! They're against me so they can't be good for the country!

Damn! The press found out about the IRS thingie and the phone taps on the AP and FOX. Now I'm going to have to go out there and lie some more. I have to check in the mirror to see if my nose is growing any. Ha Ha Ha!  I'll let that lying little weasel, Carney put them off for a while.

I think it's time for another vacation for Wookie and the girls. I'll send them away then call Bill Clinton. We can call in some girls and party in the oval! PARTY! PARTY!

Going down to the kitchen tonight. The boys and I are checking out some Argentina Especiale. We should be blasted for a while.

Note to self: I think it's time to throw Holder under the bus! He's starting to make me look bad. Good help is getting harder and harder to find!  

Goodnight Dear diary....

That's all for now. As more pages come to light I'll get them to you. Don't tell anyone where you saw this. The walls have ears!

Please be advised that this is political humor and not the "Real" presidential diary. I'm quite sure the real one is much funnier!

As a GEEZER, I find this diary to be absolutely appalling. What "Nancy-Boy" keeps a diary these days any anyway?

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

An Administration Under Fire

Well, it seems that our Fearless Leader's administration is coming under fire from all sides.

There is the Benghazi scandal. Who knew what and when did they know it? After the death of Ambassador Christopher Stevens and three others in Benghazi, Libya, the administration claimed that the attack was in response to a You-Tube video that almost no one has even seen. Then they claimed that this was a terrorist attack when it became obvious that the administration was lying through it's teeth to the American public and the world at large.

There were the famous "Stand Down" orders but no one is sure who issued them and no one is coming clean on anything. Everyone, from the president on down is covering their respective asses.

Now the whistle blowers are beginning to get every one's attention and things are finally coming to light.

In the meantime we have four Americans who are still dead and are crying out
for justice.

I have heard rumors that the entire event was a set-up. Ambassador Stevens was supposed to be taken hostage by AlQueda then exchanged for guns for AlQueda and the Muslim Brotherhood (even though we don't deal with terrorists). The small security detail was ordered to "Stand Down" so that the hostage could be taken cleanly. Unfortunately for the administration, the former SEALS disregarded the stand down order and put themselves in harm's way to rescue the Ambassador.

When it was obvious that a firefight was in play, other units were told to stand down. The administration didn't want the operation to escalate. It was still possible that the Ambassador could be taken alive. No one counted on the dedication to duty of the former SEALS. God bless them!

We'll see where all this ends up.

Next on the list are the IRS scandals. It seems that the IRS has targeted several groups like the Tea Party and other Patriot groups for close scrutiny. The IRS has been demanding to see membership lists, phone lists etc. from these groups... all against the law.

The IRS has also been targeting American Jewish groups for scrutiny demanding that they explain why they are backing Israel, what their politics are, who their members are and lists of their phone numbers. They have been delving deeply into these organizations. Way beyond what the law allows.

The IRS is also targeting in the same way the Associated Press (AP) by using

government surveillance assets to access and record telephone conversations in order to find the AP's news sources. Wow. Sounds ethical to me! You know that they're on the administration's "Enemy List".

I can only imagine what their goal is. What I cannot imagine is that the Administration is not involved in these inquiries. We'll see...

Our Administration is being questioned by the British over several insults to them by Fearless Leader. The USA refused to send an emissary to the funeral of Margaret Thatcher, The "Iron Lady" of British politics.

The British are incensed about comments from Fearless Leader supporting Argentina over the Brits in the matter of the Falkland Islands. Way to support your best ally, Mr. President!

There have been other insults and slights toward the British since 2009. Even though we, here in America aren't paying much attention to them, be assured that the British ARE! Should it be necessary to ask for support from the British people and government - you can wager that all these will be considered most critically.

It seems that Barack Obama's brother has started a somewhat shady non-profit foundation. His application for non-profit status was approved within thirty days and made retro-active to the beginning. Other qualified foundations have to wait as long as three years to be granted not-for-profit status from the government and they are seldom made retro-active. I wonder how this happened? Surely Fearless Leader couldn't have had a hand in this? Say it isn't so!

Did you know that there are six positions in the White House and in the administration that are filled with members of the Muslim Brotherhood? I don't suppose that they have any influence over how the President conducts business on behalf of the American People. Surely not.

The heads of three Network News organizations have a husband, wife or brother in the Obama administration. It seems that these news organizations have a slightly different take on what they present as the News, wouldn't you say?

Our Fearless Leader is a real piece of work. He has freely admitted to his background as a radical socialist, a drug user (At least the drugs he used didn't affect our President) and an adherent to the teachings of Saul Alinsky, a known radical socialist.

During the summer of 2008, I read an article in Newsweek written by a reporter who traveled with Obama on his campaign bus. One sentence struck me as odd: The reporter stated that he was impressed with Obama because with all the stress of his campaign, he (Obama) always remained remarkably 'Serene'. I'm thinking that he was either clueless or self medicated (see above paragraph).

Had even one of these thing been associated with a white Presidential candidate, the press would have torn him apart. If you don't believe me, think back to the campaign of Bill Clinton and his claims that "I didn't inhale" when it became known that he had smoked marijuana in college. Clinton, if you will remember, is a Democrat. For all that, he was a pretty decent President.

What is it about Obama that make people think that he's such a great man? His skin color? If so, that's just racist. It certainly isn't his experience. He was a community organizer. If you don't know, that is someone who organizes political rallies, protests and get out the vote drives (as long as you're voting the way he tells you). 

He was an Illinois State Senator who won his state election under some controversy. During his term, he ran for the US Senate and won that race (controversial campaign). 

Then while in the first term, he ran for President of the USA. (He can't really seem to keep a job!) During that campaign he made many promises. None of which have come to pass. 

Once in office he took a trip and bowed down to Muslim leaders, then apologized for America and her policies against the Middle East. He ignored Israel completely.

He later took a trip to Israel and basically insulted them by telling them they should embrace the Palestinians, because they were wonderful people.
He is now in his second term and I still have no idea how he's doing it. It can't be because of his masterful skills as President. As far as I can see, he still doesn't have a clue what he's doing. He doesn't know how to govern. Since becoming President he's done nothing but campaign. That, and play golf and take vacations on the public dime.

He recently went to Mexico and told the Mexican

president that their problems were all America's fault... from guns to creating a market for illegal drugs. All our fault! Tell that to the dead Border Patrol agents who guard our sovereign borders!

From reading this, you might get the idea that I'm against the Presidency. I'm not. I'm just against

Obama and his anti-American ideals. It seems to me that the man has no idea what it means to be a patriot, to be an American. He has no observable pride in his country nor does he have any allegiance to the American People. He does seem to be in it for himself and takes every opportunity to live the high-life on the backs of the American taxpayer.

"Any President worthy of the office, when placed upon the altar of freedom, will gladly sacrifice himself for the good of his country" ...
                                 The Geezer

Our current President is doing just the opposite.

But I'm just a Geezer... and this is just my opinion.

So... I could be wrong...  but I doubt it.